Have you ever seen those pictures, you know the ones, where it looks like everyone is happy, and life is perfect?

We all know that those are staged photos. The same thing happens with videos. I love seeing peoples reactions to videos that were staged, but made to look like real, spur of the moment, candid snippets.

So is anything out there genuine? Sure!

Is it attainable? Yep, and that’s what I want to talk about.

I’m not just talking about living in an ideal 55+ community, like the ones we build. I want to examine a few ideas that can make any neighborhood a better place to live.

What Makes A Neighborhoods Feel Good?

Consider the needs of the individuals

By now, most of us have heard of the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It suggests that we have a pyramid-like structure of needs that start from basic and climb in priority.

In a nutshell, it is suggested that the needs are as follows:

1. Physiological needs: These are things like food, shelter, sleep, the essentials for living.
2. Safety is next: Once our physical needs are taken care of, we desire a need to feel secure.
3. Belonging: This is where good friendships become highly valued.
4. Esteem: Once you have friends, you want their respect, and you want to feel a sense of accomplishment.
5. Self-Actualization: This is the peak. When everything else is satisfied, you need to know that you are living up to your full potential.

Many of us in a community live at different stages along this list of priorities. So how does this help us unite our neighborhoods and create that utopian community that we would love to live in?

I don’t want to make this a study in sociology, I would rather make this a practical tool for evaluating our communities and deciding how to increase our overall happiness. So let’s dive into it.

What makes you happy/what makes your neighbors happy?

Knowing what makes you happy will help you determine the position you hold on the hierarchy of needs. As a reminder, it doesn’t matter where you are on this list. It isn’t a competition. It’s simply a way of judging what makes you happy at this time in your life.

Physiological Needs

Are you happy if you can keep a roof over your head, and keep you and your family fed? Then you are probably at the first level. For many of us, we start out here. When we’re struggling as a young family, possibly owning a mountain of debt, and few job place skills, this can be a real concern.

Many of us might also struggle with this as we retire. Health care becomes more expensive, and our physical needs become more fragile.

Making the most of it

If you have neighbors who have real physiological needs, helping them with those needs can provide a great source of friendship and joy. Maybe it’s giving them rides to a doctor, maybe it’s helping them in the yard, or passing on a job referral. Maybe babysitting is something they could really appreciate so that they can take care of something important to them.

Safety

We are all vulnerable at times. This may come as a result of past experiences or feared possibilities. It ranges from assault, burglary, natural disaster, food poisoning, radon, to a whole host of other concerns. Some of us feel safe in any circumstance, while others of us are constantly anxious about the next possible catastrophe.

Making the most of it

Helping a neighbor with this requires us to know a little about our neighbors. Sometimes, all it takes, is knowing your neighbor to set them at ease. If they don’t know who you are, then you could be, well, anybody, even someone who is untrustworthy. Other things you can do, might appeal to your personal interests. Do you enjoy emergency preparedness? If you have a clubhouse or church house that you can meet at, you can host informative classes on your specialties. There’s a lot you can do to help people feel safe, even if its as simple as watering their plants or collecting their newspaper when they’re out of town.

Belonging

I’ve met people whose physical needs are met, and they feel safe, but who don’t feel at all like they belong. If this describes you or someone you know, what can be done to help that? You may consider yourself the perfect neighbor, and still they don’t feel as if they belong. You may not even know that they don’t feel a sense of belonging. Hint: A good clue that they don’t feel as if they belong, is that they don’t ever talk to you.

Making the most of it

One common thing that I’ve noticed among people who feel a lack of belonging, is that they don’t reach out to others. This is usually based on fear of rejection. So many people worry about being the one to ask a neighbor to be their friend. Sure, we’ve all been blown-off before, but we don’t usually know the reasons why. The best way I’ve found to help establish a cohesive neighborhood with folks who feel as if they don’t belong, is to be the one who says hello first. Make that initial contact, then follow up.

Esteem

When I think of esteem, my first thought turns to pride. But as I ponder on this more, the dreaded pride, that cripples so many people, is not so much a part of this stage of needs. While it still plays a part, it is more dangerous if someone displays a large amount of it in the earlier needs. If you feel as though your basic needs are met, and you feel as though you belong to your community, then the need for pride becomes less important, and we start needing real esteem, not fake esteem.

Making the most of it

This is the confidence building stage. People who need esteem might come off as prideful, but they might also just be searching for validation. If that can be met, then these folks will know that their opinions are worthwhile to others. Their happiness will come from being a true value to their neighbors. These are the folks who can benefit most from service opportunities. Find ways to include them and their expertise, especially as it relates to needs within your neighborhood.

Self-Actualization

These folks seem to have it all. Their focus is personal development, education, and culture. They aren’t elitists, and they aren’t always wealthy. Often they are philanthropists. These people are confident, and their happiness often revolves around their being able to contribute to society.

Making the most of it

Don’t be afraid to ask these people for help. Often, they are more than willing. They’ve already learned the importance of being involved, and they know they can be of value. Also, you can pass along fun ideas that you learn of. Maybe there’s a Broadway play coming to town, or a trip to some historic site coming up that they might enjoy visiting with you.

Summary

If I could summarize all these community building ideas into one cohesive thought, it would be this: Get to know your neighbors and serve them.

That’s almost seems like an oversimplification of it, but it can appeal to so many of us, regardless of where we are in our life’s journey.

If you’re familiar at all with the lifestyle we encourage at our active adult communities, then you’ll see how this simple thing fits into all of our programs. For instance: We encourage monthly potluck dinners, HOA involvement, movie nights, lunch dates, quilting, book clubs, aerobics, and service projects. All of these things help bring people together. If people can be brought together, then they can get to know each other. Once they know their neighbors, they become more aware of their neighbors’ current needs, and by helping them, both people benefit and the overall happiness of the community improves.

Well, what about church?

Yes, if you live in a place like Utah, where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or some other church is the dominant religion, you may know that many people are already involved in community activities and services. Does this mean that we don’t need to worry about our community?

Well, if you’re part of one of those churches, you might already feel as if many of your neighborhood needs and friendships are met, but I’ll bet that most of you have neighbors on your street, that you barely even know. What about them?

Perhaps you are not a part of that church organization, and you want some of that good neighborly vibes. There’s always a need to be more neighborly. Perhaps it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and act to make your neighborhood the sort of place where you would want to live.

That’s what we do at Leisure Villas, and you can do that too, in your neighborhood, or even in one of ours.